11/10/13 WEWRIWA

Welcome to Weekend Writers for another Sunday of delightful eight sentences from talented authors. This is your chance to offer constructive critique and help all of us improve on our craft.

Today I introduce the heroine of The Catch, Joanne McKenna Friedman, a young lawyer with a jaded past and no family to turn to. A runaway at sixteen, she learned the hard way and pays for it even now, left with a distrust of all men. She’s worked her way through law school at night, by day she works for Charlie Costigan Kahn’s construction company. After hearing rumors about Thomas Donnelly, Charlie’s boyfriend in college for a short time, she has a dislike for him. In the following eight, she’s sitting next to him at Haven, where Charlie and her family are spending the summer. Dinnertime!

excerpt in eight:

 

She sat, gazed around at the long table filled with happy friends and family when suddenly the enemy, Tom Donnelly, tucked in next to her. One small bite of beef tenderloin led to another and soon in her mind’s eye she pictured herself as a hungry little girl, mother saying, “ two bites is enough for the likes of you, kid.” Forcing the picture away, Joanne slowed down, chewed and ate with the same deliberation that led to all her accomplishments so far.

Aware of Tom’s glances and attempts at conversation, she ignored him instead choosing the company of little Jake and Luke Costigan, Shelley and Jimmy’s boys. The boys tossed conversation over her head like a basketball to their new best friend, Tom.

Positive they wished Tom sat next to them, Joanne offered to switch chairs but Tom seemed to enjoy her discomfort.

After dinner with briefcase in hand, Joanne strode to her car when Tom’s   deep voice called, “What have I done to make you so antagonistic toward me?” offering a wrapped napkin with the tempting smell of cookies inside.

 “Don’t flatter yourself; I’m cautious about uh, new people coming close so thanks for the cookies; and, and don’t ever hurt Charlie or her family, ever, or Thomas Donnelly, you’ll have to answer to me.”

 

 

For more snippets by talented writers

www.wewriwa.com

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/295820

http://www.amazon.com/The-Catch-ebook/dp/B00BUGFI2I

http://store.payloadz.com/go?id=1573951

Video

http://youtu.be/zGDljrb8i18

 Image

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24 thoughts on “11/10/13 WEWRIWA

  1. You’ve already shown so much of your heroine’s personality in this scene. Love the cookie gesture. I would have been at his mercy for that. 😉 Great eight!

  2. Ooh, she throws down the gauntlet and I’m betting he’s a man who just loves a challenge! Nice eight Charmaine. I loved the detail. She sounds feisty and he’s probably a sweetheart. Of course, I’m guessing he won’t be able to persuade her of that too easily! 🙂

  3. Joanne obviously had a rough childhood and this has turned her into a strong woman, with defences up. Great descriptive passage! The cookies should warm her up to Tom, at least a little 🙂

  4. Was he enjoying her discomfort… or trying to make a friend? She seems a little touchy, I wonder if she’s misreading him because she feels defensive.

    She has reason, judging by her memory of her mom. Yikes!

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