4/20/14 WEWRIWA

Another sunny day in NY with birds chirping and neighbors coming out of hibernation in this quiet neighborhood. I woke up today and that’s always a plus. Welcome to my world and Weekend Warrior Writers. Know this, my friends, I appreciate your critique of my new story. Every comment is important. Thank you all.

Continuing with my WIP She Never Said Yes. 15 and a half year old Joy Davison invites eighteen year old Danny Wilson to her club dinner dance. Sounds easy, right? He accepts and she’s thrilled. Mother wants to meet this senior boy after warning her only daughter saying boy’s will expect “privileges”, never telling innocent Joy what that means. She also wants to meet this possibly depraved boy so when he comes to the door to tell Joy a secret, Mother is there. And to Joy’s surprise , when Mother and Danny shake hands, her mother holds on too long to be polite and peers into Danny’s eyes like detectives do in the movies. A sign of the 40’s with Mama Bear protecting Baby Bear. Left alone at last, Joy is anxious to find out what Danny wants to tell her.

Excerpt in eight:

He shuffled his feet the way I’d seen him do when we walked home and I guessed he was uncomfortable and why not when he’s so sure of himself in school and my home is like foreign territory.
“You want to tell me something?” fingers crossed tight under my arms praying he didn’t plan to say he didn’t want to go out with me or even worse, he had another girlfriend.
His voice kind of choked and finally he spilled the beans, “Remember I said my dad was an immigrant from Russia and did you wonder why my last name is Wilson, not too Russian?”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I thought, not the date or another girl and fingers uncrossed, I leaned toward this adorable nervous boy to listen.
“Danny,” I touched his reindeer sweater so soft his mom must have washed it a million times, “I didn’t think about it but I betcha I’d have asked you, um, soon.”
He settled back against the stiff blue silk covered sofa, more comfortable since he’d started talking: “His family arrived at Ellis Island, do you know about Ellis Island?” I nodded. “The inspector asked Grandpa his name and Grandpa spoke a garbled Russian, the story goes, and said “Wolinsky” simplified by the man in charge to Wilson.”
“Danny, the same thing happened to my father’s family and that’s how the name Davidonivich became Davison.”
His freckled face looked so serious all of a sudden especially when he said, “Let’s pinky swear not to tell anyone else” and right then we locked pinky fingers, his large, mine small and shook them, our first pact.

for more snippets from talented writers:

http://wewriwa.com