6/15/14 WEWRIWA

Hi Gang. It’s almost summer solstice. How did that happen so soon? One minute Spring arrives, you turn around and it’s Summer and the living is easy. Welcome to our happy constructive critique group where we write eight sentences and open ourselves to listen and learn.

Today I write a bit more about my heroine, Beth Malone’s first night since husband Frank left her. The book is titled To Be Continued and Beth learns before long, that’s exactly what she must do. Life goes on. Eventually she’ll become the winner she once was.

I appreciate your comments and learn more every week.

excerpt in eight:

She called her daughter; “I have something terrible to tell you.”
“Oh hi, Mom, if it’s about Dad, he told me he was going to leave and I think it’s a mid-life crisis so don’t take it too seriously. I
mean, I’ve heard about things like this and the husband always crawls home.”
Stunned, for a moment Beth couldn’t speak; “He told you before he sneaked out in the night?”
“Well, yeah, you know Dad and I have always been close but don’t worry, he’ll come back.”
 “And you didn’t warn me, Susie; first your father betrays me and now you.”
“Mother, calm down, I’m sorry your feelings are hurt, and yes, Dad leaving like this was a rotten thing to do.
Liz’s voice rose. “Hurt? You have no idea. . .” her daughter had hung up.
I thought I had a life,Beth glanced around the room with swollen eyes, and now I have nothing.

for more snippets from talented authors:

http://wewriwa.com                                                                                             af06a-tbc_flat_front_to_work_with_copy

Now Available in Audio

PRINT – http://www.amazon.com/To-Be-Continued-Charmaine-Gordon/dp/1935407430

Kindle – http://www.amazon.com/To-Be-Continued-ebook/dp/B0030IM65G

AllRomance Ebooks – https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-tobecontinued-395548-149.html

Smashwords for All Ereaders – https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/7283

Free Book Club Discussion Packet – http://store.payloadz.com/go?id=912108


35 thoughts on “6/15/14 WEWRIWA

  1. ohhh, poor thing! That daughter was clearly a daddy’s girl, to be so insensitive to her mom at a time like this. Excellent way of showing us a lot about the characters in a very short excerpt.

    Could I make one suggestion? The daughter’s use of “Mother” just stands out to me as a bit of a conflict. She says “Mom” earlier and uses the comparable “Dad” twice, so that single use of “Mother” seems out of place. Her whole attitude is so nonchalant I’d expect her to stick with “Mom”.

    Still, that’s a minor thing. I didn’t sign up today but definitely did not want to miss your post!

  2. Wow! Definitely a daddy’s girl. Not that I get the feeling it would have helped, but she’s so dismissive of her mother’s pain!

    I actually like the use of “Mother” it feels distancing, and a little annoyed.

    • Caitlin, the story, of course, deals with mom as the one who cleans, cooks, the unhappy home maker taken for granted. She begins to fly, grow up, take charge as a single woman in her fifties. Thanks for your comment, perceptive, as always.

  3. That is really rough. Shows how dysfunctional her family has become. The daughter just hanging up in mid conversation struck me as beyond rude. Do you want her to be that unlikable? Another great snippet, Charmaine.

  4. Oh man. Talk about hitting rock bottom. 😦 It’s awful to be betrayed by the people you love the most, and who supposedly love you the most. Hope things improve for Beth!

  5. Having her daughter hang up on her must have been gut-wrenching! To know that her daughter knew and did not tell her and then has no compassion when she calls…What a….
    I hope Beth can hold on. Love the writing. Feel the pain…

  6. I just want to smack Susie, what a be-otch! And I am aghast that she seems to expect her mother to just swallow pride and feelings for when her husband comes “crawling back”, yeesh. As was said above, this snippet shows a lot about this family, Well done.

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