6/22/14 WEWRIWA

Hi gang, slick on some sunscreen and enjoy this glorious summer weather. But first take time out for our intrepid weekend warrior writers where snippets of eight sentences await your perusal and constructive critique.

This week I move along with To Be Continued. Beth Malone takes hold and makes plans for a future without a husband. Once a star swimmer, she forced her husband to let her have an Olympic size heated pool paid for by herself-the one battle she’d won in forty years. The weather forecast indicated a string of good weather for March. Time to call the pool guy. Beth never met him. Frank took care of business. Time to step up to the plate and make the call.

excerpt in eight:
Beth sat by the glass slider doors in a daze watching the pool guy thinking what’s his unusual name; Martino, Mercutio, uh, no, Maverick, yes, his muscles rippled as he worked strong and capable.
A knock at the slider door interrupted her reverie; his energy filled the room making Beth feel insignificant by comparison.

“All finished; added a big dose of Shock to clear the water, be back tomorrow to vacuum, add chemicals, get the heater going so by the end of the week you can swim.”

His deep voice rattled off information she’d never thought about before and then she heard, “Miz Malone, Doctor pays the first bill today, if you don’t mind.”
She stared into the kindest blue eyes she’d ever seen; “Monthly bill?”
“Opening the pool is a separate fee paid at the time I do the work and this pool is so special . . .”
She glanced up to see Maverick, tee shirt stretched across his tan muscular upper body, arms folded
across his chest, waiting.

The Doctor’s gone,” she said, “gone like he flew the coop, gone like bye-bye, hasta la vista, ciao, fare thee well, auf weidersehn, have a nice day” and with a helpless gesture of her hands Beth giggled and couldn’t stop as she wrote a surprisingly large check for the upkeep of the one thing she’d fought for years ago and Frank finally had to give in.

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40 thoughts on “6/22/14 WEWRIWA

  1. Reading the description of Maverick makes me yearn for the days when we had a pool.
    We can feel Beth’s desolation and it’s painful. Well done 8.

  2. I wish a had a pool and a Maverick to clean it :p I got the impression that she had a nervous laughing fit at the end and like Sue Ann said, I also hope she does have the money to pay him and doesn’t find that her husband has left her any more unpleasant surprises. Great snippet!

  3. I can really feel her state of mind, dazed and trying to keep going…her instincts on what to do for herself are excellent. Oh, and Maverick sounds pretty easy to look at! Terrific excerpt!

  4. Reminds me of the commercial where the woman says “I have to call the pool guy–and I don’t even have a pool!” lol!

    Love your portrayal of Beth. Your characters are always so realistic. She’s still mixed up and realizing for the first time how much she’ll have to do for herself now. I’m rooting for her big time 🙂

  5. I bet she wrote him a very large check indeed. 😀 Send Maverick my way after, would ya please? I don’t have a pool but I’m sure I can find something for him to clean. Like my dirty mind. lol. Great 8!

  6. The helpless flood of synonyms and giggles is a nice touch–it shows how out of control she feels right now. I’ve had those moments where you want to shout at yourself–just stop talking! Your mouth never listens, though.

  7. Maybe her laughter stems from a moment of “Frank is gone, pool guy is here, let’s party.” I hope so because “the doctor” doesn’t sound as if he’s worth pining for.

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