3/1/15 WEWRIWA

YIPPEE! We’re getting closer, folks. I never dreamed a month could be so bitter and confining. Yuck. But we are survivors to live again and greet the sun.

I continue with my nameless WIP, poor baby. Chip sent a shout out for one possibility and I’m considering it. Come on , folks. Maybe this week’s eight will stimulate an idea from a group filled with just the right title.

Last week , Chapter one introduced you to James Chandler in the hospital, bloodied panties on his head from a fall on the platform bed. Dangerous after making love in the dark when she says no and cries.

excerpt in eight:

Two a.m. the ambulance sirens shut down and stopped at the Emergency entrance to the River’s Edge Hospital. Anna followed the EMT’s into the hospital when a guard tried to stop her by saying,” are you related?”
“Well, almost, we’re engaged;” antiseptic smells bombarded her senses as Anna followed the gurney down the narrow emergency area to where a doctor slumped against the wall. She ran to him, touched his white coat, “Doctor, my fiancé fell, hit his head against the platform of his bed and he’s unconscious so please hurry.”
Squinting his eyes at her, he nodded.and she marveled at the way he shook his head as if to clear cobwebs of exhaustion and come awake. “An educated guess is concussion but first an MRI so wait here because someone will be asking for his insurance card and personal information.”
Alone in the curtained cubicle, Anna prayed to all the Gods she knew; “please keep James Chandler safe and healthy; we have plans for a life together, dear Father. I said no because I wanted to think of what to do about my dear tribal  people who will hate me if I marry someone without making amends.” She laid down on the cot where the doctor had examined her Jimmy and dozed off.

for more snippets from talented writers:

http://www.wewriwa.com

SA Charmaine pic 2 resized

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34 thoughts on “3/1/15 WEWRIWA

  1. Although I had a suspicion last week that the cultural difference was behind her tears so this week confirmed that. She reacting to her assumed guilt over their dalliance and that is very evident thanks to your writing. Dalliance ~ A Nod in the Dark ~ Bridging the Gap …any sparks?

  2. It’s great that we learn more about her motivation and gain a little insight into her back story. Great 8.
    I’m not quite sure about her falling asleep. If she’s so worried about him, so concerned, would she fall asleep? I don’t know enough about her to be able to say for sure. I could see her pacing or sitting and maybe playing with a thread on her blouse/clothes while all her worries go through her mind. Just a thought;).

    • Tina, what a perfect idea. Consider it changed. As Chip remarked, it’s not a good idea to fall asleep on a cot in the hospital if you’re not the patient. This is what WEWRIWA is all about and I so appreciate comments. Of course Anna should be pacing, fidgeting and more as she waits for the results. Thank you.

  3. There was a bigger reason for her tears. nicely done, Charmaine.

    I am so with you about the end of winter! We’re getting another half foot today. The middle of the week is the next storm, which will be rain. 🙂 But you know, I just stepped outside with the dogs, and even in the heavy snowfall, the birds are singing as if spring has already arrived!

    It is pretty outside.

  4. Great eight, Charmaine! Poor Anna to have that struggle.

    A blurb/summary could help as far as titles go. I’m pretty good at titling other peoples’ work. When it comes to my own I have more trouble. Got a few ideas rolling around in my head. I’ll let you know if anything good comes of them.

    Spring is coming soon! We just have to hold on a few more weeks. 🙂

  5. Quite a whirlwind of activity- I love the image of the doctor shaking off his exhaustion. I too felt it odd that she fell asleep so quickly, glad you’re changing it.

  6. Enjoyed the excerpt, good to learn a bit more about Anna’s concerns. Actually the doctor shaking off his exhaustion threw me for a moment because I half felt there was now going to be a subplot about him and something troubling him, you know? At any rate, can’t wait for more!

  7. Poor Anna. I hope her prayers are answered in the way she wishes them to be. 🙂 What an emotional scene! Well done!

  8. What a terrible (and embarrassing) series of events!

    But since Anna and James are your characters, Charmaine, I’m sure they’ll earn their happy ending . . .eventually! 🙂

  9. Wow, this could qualify for cable show, “Sex sent me to the ER,” which I watch for research of course! Great 8. A title usually comes to me as I get more into the story. You’ll find one you like!

  10. Charmaine,
    Now that my day job requires me to be outside 80-90% of the time, and sometimes up at 4 am to battle snow, I couldn’t agree more strongly that the snow needs to go! 🙂

    My favorite line: “Squinting his eyes at her, he nodded.and she marveled at the way he shook his head as if to clear cobwebs of exhaustion and come awake. “An educated guess is concussion but first an MRI so wait here because someone will be asking for his insurance card and personal information.”” He really does shake himself awake. Having seen and worked with doctors in similar situations, it was great to see him jump to action. Nice 8!

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