Cats all over the place. So sweet as they climb on my lap and bother me while writing. Oh well. Spring is definitely here. I planted tulips and deer ate them. Bad word for the pretty deer. At least they didn’t munch on my daffodils and more hyacinth than you can count.
Last week in Bridging the Gap, the happy couple, James and Anna named the pup Doc after Dr. Brad Cohen, their new best friend. This is the calm before the storm, my friends. Anna is pregnant,James is still recovering from the concussion, Anna has to make amends with her mother, magistrate of the tribe she ran away from two years before and now Amanda, Jimmy’s daughter from his first unfortunate marriage is settled in bed in the penthouse.Kathy is her natural mother’s name.
excerpt in eight:
Anna heard sounds coming from a phone and she thought, maybe the little girl has some kind of cell phone that can tape conversations so she poked Jimmy who was just about to fall asleep.
“Honey, you’ve got to hear this.” and they crept to the door and listened; what they heard staggered them.
James knocked on Mandy’s door, it’s Daddy, honey may we come in?
Sure enough, she had a new Iphone next to her ear and tears rolled down her cheeks.
Startled and frightened, Mandy gasped for air; one night, I heard Kathy talking to someone real loud so I brought my phone next to the door to tape her talking. She said, she said, oh Daddy, she said she never wanted to have me. She said the only reason she was in the house was to make trouble for you and get more money. Listen.” She played it again. And I took pictures of her lying in bed all fancy in a dress.”
for more snippets from talented writers:
At first I was a little bit confused because of the lack of opening & closing quotes, but once I figured out the dialogue, oh my heart aches for that little girl. She has a terrible mother. I imagine her father’s heart is breaking as well. So very poignant. Well done.
I left out the quotes-why, don’t ask. I figured y’all would feel the flow and get it. Thanks, Chelle.
Whoa, talk about a twist! Poor little girl, heart-wrenching. I’m seeing a move to her dad in her future;). Great 8.
She’s with him already. Next is a visit with the lawyers. Thanks, Tina.
I found it confusing too at first, I thought the second part was a flashback, But after reading it a couple of times it was fine, so sad!
Into the joy comes conflict and sadness. Don’t you love fiction?
You’ve captured that “loss of innocence” moment with the child’s heartbreak. I feel her pain.
Gem, thanks for the special comment. More next week.
Aw, poor little girl! Sounds like Anna might have a little wounded bird on her hands, on top of everything else.
Situation nailed by Christina. Anna with her big heart will take care and become new mommy.
My heart breaks for the poor little girl. I just want to hug her.
See how tough she can be next week. Hugs are definitly in order so thanks, Karen.
This was really confusing at first. So many things going on in your intro. A bunch of different characters to keep track of. Cells phones. Eavesdropping. Dialog without quotations. Finally, I got it. In truth, I’m not sure this was the best way to convey the story.
You may be right. I shortened every sentence to make the eight fit. Maybe I shortened too much. Ah well. Within the the book, it all fits just right.
Poor baby girl! You write with such zest and enthusiasm Charmaine, I love your style!
Sara, you’re a sweetie. For an old broad like me, I am filled with zest. And you love my style. WOW! Way cool. Thanks.
An evil ex to thicken the plot- nice! Anna has her hands full with these two. One nit I had was “tape”. Using a cell phone it sounds rather archaic. Maybe “record” instead? Of course records are outdated as well so maybe…never mind.
Since I’m archaic, I used the best of all possible words without asking my daughter. Thanks, Alexis. Even my seven year old granddaughter is a whiz with electronics. My response to them is, “Can you write a book?”
My cats try to help me write too. Great snippet, although it’s unfortunate there are so many problems coming at them at once!
I so love this story with all the problems and hope some of my WEWRIWA pals check it out. It will be released possibly next week. More problems to face with an HEA, of course. Thanks, ED.
That’s a terrible thing to overhear for that little girl. So heart-wrenching!
And don’t you know it’s your job to provide a lap whenever a cat wants one? It’s in the Cats-titution.
So true, Caitlin. Laps, hugs, a scratch behind the ears and kibbles. It’s all in the Cats-titution.
Re: what Amanda overheard, that comes from real life. My husband told me his wife said that about their three kids.
Good mercy, what a thing for a child to overhear.
I’m viciously glad they’ll be seeing lawyers soon—please tell me you’ll share that with us! 🙂
I will. Thanks for caring, Sarah.
Poor Anna. What a sad situation she’s in–all at the hands of a self-serving mother. Good snippet, Charmaine! 🙂
Thanks, my friend. As in all my stories, it will all work out. This one has more twists than most of them says my publisher and her dear husband.who is always taken with my stories. Today I finished another that makes a threesome of River’s Edge series. How cool is this? Way cool this author says.
I can only echo the others, really a sad situation you describe, but at least there’s comfort that the little girl is with her Dad and Anna right now! It was a bit confusing without the quotation marks, I agree, but worth reading! I can totally see your cats keeping your company, which made me smile – they’re such good “helpers”, aren’t they? Best wishes!
Hi dear pal. You sound perky. I hope that’s true. I knew we needed something awful to happen and to my surprise, it did. Mandy has lots of support and wait ’til you see her at the lawyers office. How I love fiction and writing. Thanks for the best wishes.
My cat has been following me around my house too this weekend. It’s like she can’t get enough of me. 🙂 Love this snippet, very descriptive revelation for this young girl. I hope she doesn’t take it too hard. I love your cover also!! 🙂
Kimberlee Williams, my publisher did it. Then I asked her to add the beagle. I love it.
Poor girl. What a thing to overhear. Her mother isn’t much of a mother.
I’ve heard of mother’s like that. Dreadful and I’m sure it goes on all the time. Don’t you just love the world of fiction? I do. Thanks, Elaine.
Alexis took the words out of my mouth. As if they didn’t have enough to deal with now they have his crappy ex. great 8
Thanks for stopping by , Michelle. Crappy she is but she’ll get hers.
Wow, didn’t see that coming! Tension mounting…
No more fun and games like Disney land. Bridging the Gap was just released today. Yippee!