Memorial Day Weekend. How well we remember and never forget our men and and women who support and fight for our country. My first love , a pilot in the Strategic Command who landed on a wing and a prayer the first time his bomber- a B 26 flew to England during the Korean War and later flew KC 97’s-Air refueling. a hazard all by it self. And then they planned atomic Bomb missions, never carried out, thank God. What a time.
And now to Weekend Writers Warriors for some fun with constructive critique for all.
Spreading Her Wings continues since there’s been so much enthusiasm for this story. The last scene took place where serious men were investing in the show on Broadway until the biggest investor walked in with his gawky daughter-the triple threat, she can’t dance, can’t sing, can’t act.
Excerpt in nine:
A crowd of men gathered around a burly Irishman who roared disapproval at the audition process.
“My daughter is as good as any of the girls in there.”
A soft spoken man pulled him aside just close enough for Sally and Teresa to hear.
“Mr. O’Malley, you are the major investor in the show and you want the play to be a success don’t you?”
“Of course and I also want my daughter to be a star.”
“Sir, she may not be quite ready for that because it takes years of training to . . .”
The bigger man grabbed him by his collar to lift him up eye to eye.
“You want a play and I got the dough so shut your face and get Clarabelle ready.”
He dropped him to the sidewalk to leave him eyes popping with fear.
for more snippets from talented writers:
Spreading Her Wings
Kindness to Strangers in River’s Edge rubs off on all who live there. Sally Kirkwood responds to an emergency call from a friend one early morning. A daughter is missing and with Sally’s skill as a reporter, she finds her at an audition in NYC. Thus begins an adventure of show business, unfaithfulness, forgiveness and success.
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The man is certainly a bully.
Wealthy men sometimes are and there’s more to his intensity regarding Clarabelle.
Ah yes! Those investors!
Money makes their world go around. . .
Oh dear. Looks like they’d better come up with a part for Clarabelle where she can do as little damage as possible!
She has different ideas.
This Irishman is obviously not being realistic. This scene isn’t going to bode well if Clarabelle doesn’t get a part. Great job upping the tension, Char!
Thanks, big guy. Pile on the tension and see what happens.
While I sympathize with his wish to make his daughter happy . . . nope, hope he fails. 🙂
(Clarabelle? Wasn’t that also the name of a famous clown?)
You’re right about the name and the clown. Poor girl.
He’s trying to be a good dad. LOL. but maybe not that way
So true, Michelle. As parents, we don’t always know what to do.
That play is going to be a disaster… What sucks is that everyone else will be blamed. Great snippet, Charmaine!
More to follow, my friend.
That’s one way of dealing with things I suppose.
Hi Linda, so good to see you here.
Definitely trouble ahead for the entire production, I predict! Can’t wait ti read more of this backstage insight 🙂
Always intrigue on stage, back stage and off stage. What fun. I so miss the Sweet TIme in my life. Thanks, V
Yikes! I wonder if he bullies his daughter like that, too?
It’s love sweet love to be revealed, Caitlin.
I would hate to be in the shoes of either girl. I know it’s not quite possible to pull it off, but I bet what might have worked better is to have the play run with both leads for a time during rehearsals (doesn’t every production have a study who can do the show if something happens to the lead? Maybe they have two “studies”). Show that they’re working with Clarabelle but have a back-up plan and then have this major investor watch the play just before hand. Let him compare the two versions and choose honestly for himself, knowing his name and funding are on the line. He might like our young hero better, and even if he doesn’t perhaps Clarabelle will have improved some with the competition.
Eden, you’re writing a whole different story here. And yours is probable too.Thanks for taking the time to figure out a different plan.
Oh, sorry, Charmaine. I just saw things the way I’d do them, since… I don’t know yet what is happening in your book. That said, I doubt it actually would work as idyllically as that; I have a feeling that big investor guy is not that reasonable when it comes to his daughter.
and the tension increases! Nice nine 😉
Thanks Ashley. That’s what I’m working toward.
Eden, get a copy of the book and see how this one turns out. From my years of experience in the business, anything can happen and it’s always unexpected.
Ooh, he’s got the dough, but is it worth it. Grrr, what a bully! Thanks for sharing your memorial day story also, hope you have a great holiday weekend, I’m off to work in an hour. 😦 Switching to the overnight shift this week.
Hey GF, you are a peach. thanks for the comment.
It’ll be funny if she really can do the job. Daddy’s real irritating, though. Great characterization.
Thanks, Elaine. You’re on to something here.
Oh my, he definitely is throwing his weight around. I hope the daughter is a quick learner. 🙂
To be revealed next week, my friend. There are so many facets to the story, I thing I’ll move on after next time.
Unfortunately parents who buy, bully and excuse their kids to get anything don’t teach the child how to achieve for themselves – and most times the kids winds up terrified to disappoint the parent and can’t deal with less than perfect. Not a good situation. This scee has got my ire up. Great 8.
Hey C,you’re so right but not in this story. Surprises coming soon. Ire cool down needed, my pal.
A bully and a micromanager! Shades of many bosses, I’m afraid. Great tension in this week’s snippet!
Tune in next week, Dani and find out more. Thanks for your support. How’s that little boy? He’s a beauty.
That’s one way to make your daughter a star — brute force and money! Emotionally charged excerpt, Charmaine 🙂
More to follow Sara. Things aren’t always what they seem to be.
Poor girl. Her father seems like a bully, but maybe there’s more to him.