Welcome to the best blog hop in town where writers post 8-t0 sentences in a snippet and are bombarded with sincere constructive critique. Yes, you heard me, folks, because we all want to help each other improve our writing. So here goes.
Lat week in my story Spreading Her Wings, a family problem is resolved. Wealthy father realizes daughter has plans of her own and agrees to respect her ideas. Ah fiction. Don’t you love it!Intrepid reporter Sally Kirkwood calls her lecherous boss on the way back to River’s Edge. She has an idea for a story to use on his cable television station. Little does she know he still has a thing for her.
excerpt:
Lance Jordan, the smooth talker picked up, his sensual voice reminding her of last spring when they almost got involved and she said no.
“Are you ready to say yes?”
“Let’s talk business, boss, because I just witnessed quite a scene at the Shubert Theatre with a major backer for the new production, his daughter, and the producer with threats and just about everything.I learned that Johnny Epstein’s the producer and he needs a major backer or a conglomerate interested in investing in the show so he’s not beholden to this other backer with the kid.”
“ I’ll call my connections and get back to you, now what’s your angle on an interview?”
“I’m thinking about what goes on backstage, how it hurts the talented kids when a backer pushes a girlfriend or someone close with no talent into the lead.
“And the name of the play is. . .”
“Damned if I know.”
The voice of Lance Jordan could be heard saying, “Damned if I Know is a terrible name for a play.”
for more snippets from talented writer:
Spreading Her Wings
Kindness to Strangers in River’s Edge rubs off on all who live there. Sally Kirkwood responds to an emergency call from a friend one early morning. A daughter is missing and with Sally’s skill as a reporter, she finds her at an audition in NYC. Thus begins an adventure of show business, unfaithfulness, forgiveness and success.
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Well so far I’m not overwhelmed with her reportorial research, but we’ll see how things develop.
Ed, I just can’t seem to please you. Maybe an alien or two would fix it?
Hmm. How to heat up a volatile situation? Add one (or more) reporter with an axe to grind…
Nicely put and so the story heats up in several ways. Thanks, Kim.
I like how she prefers to talk business before pleasure. Damned if I know would be a bad name for a play. Though, I’m not sure what name would be appropriate. Good snippet!
Of course the title of the play is not Damned if I know. A touch of humor here over the phone while driving.
Frank, you’re a sweetheart for sending me the contact. I’m doing a post for her July 15!
I got that sense of humor. It’s great that you added it in.
You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help you out. If I can help out a friend, I’d gladly do it.
Vaudeville comedy beat aside, I think “Damned if I Know” is a great name for a play. 😀
I’m guessing Claire’s move to costume design hasn’t hit the grapevine, yet? Or is this an earlier snippet?
It all comes together as stories do. Sarah, you’ll never make it on B’way naming a play. Or maybe in this era of craziness, it might strike just the right note.
Good thing Sally is so hard to fluster, though Lance is trying! I lol’d at the last line-great humor!
She’ll have to watch out for Lance , the boss with big bucks and roaming hands. Tune in next week, Christina.
Ha! Damned if I know! 😀 You crack me up, Charmaine. What a fun snippet, which does a great job to further the plot too. Well done!
So pleased I gave you a laugh. Moving right along and then new story in the works!
Ah… so, now despite Clarabelle and her father coming to some peace, and Misty and Clarabelle becoming friendlier… now Sally’s going to stick her nose into things and get them all suspicious of each other again… yay. I do NOT want to be in either Misty or Clarabelle’s shoes at the moment. Poor girls.
The girls will be just fine and Sally has a plan. But trouble ahead-not for the girls.
Funny snippet and a great exchange between the characters, just thinking that ‘Damned if I know’ would make a brilliant title for a book! A book full of questions that had never been properly answered…a book based on gossip and speculation…thanks!
Gemma, We’ll split the royalties. Let’s collaborate.
Charmaine,
I think you’re on to something with your “Damned if I know,” comment. Everyone’s right – great exchange between characters.
Thanks, Paula. I do believe we’re having a lot of fun today.
Those last lines are gems. Loved them.
Thanks, Elaine. Tune in next week.
danijace says:
June 14, 2015 at 2:57 pm Edit
Too funny! Loved the last line!
Cracked me up, too. Thanks, Dani.
I was totally thinking Lance Jordan would come back with, “Damned if I Know is a terrible name for a play.” When I read on and saw that you had the same thought. lol Made me chuckle.
Karen, ever since we met on your First Kiss Blog, we’ve been on the same page.
I don’t know, “Damned If I Know” could be a great name for a play. You could have all kinds of ‘who’s on first?’ conversations about it. 🙂
Seemed like a funny response in the dialogue when I wrote it.
It is. 🙂
I always enjoy your sense of humor! I do think this lady has some work to do on her skills as a reporter, but I love her enthusiasm and the way she throws herself right into each new story…enjoyed the excerpt, can’t wait for more behind the scenes fun.
She’s skilled at interviews. That’s why Lance pays her so much and she’s hot for a mid years woman, in his eyes. More to come next week. Thanks, V.
The last line is priceless! Love that this is set in the world of theatre. And very true to life. Kudos for capturing that. Great snippet!
Many thanks to you, Jenna. “All the world is a stage. . .”
Actually I kind of like the name “Damned If I Know”, lol. That line was quite humorous and made me chuckle.
Me too. Love when that happens.
Definitely a smooth talker, a bit demanding and it works. Great scene!
Thanks, Neva. All is looking better in Chicago, I hope.
Haha! Damned if I know. 🙂 And I like her interview angle. 🙂 Nicely done, Charmaine!
Teresa, I’ve been missing you. So happy you appreciate my humor and more.