Once upon a time she was born and it was my job as Granny to care for her while daughter taught school. A whole new life began for both of us as I changed diapers, walked her in a carriage, taught her little things as she became aware of the world. And as she slept, this little munchkin, I wrote many books, rocked her when she woke and bathed her in a sink tub.
In the beginning, I often wondered how come I was doing this. The truth is I never said No to my daughter and still don’t. The years flew by and she’s nine, a swimmer, a basketball player but most of all, when she visits me, who had a great fall like Humpty Dumpty and am still recuperating, she gets busy and does helpful stuff all on her own. Daughter taught her to be capable. The other day, she measured a special potion to kill weeds, placed it in a sprinkler and killed weeds growing in our pathway. A thorough job!
This is my grandest who plans to be a veterinarian down the long road. She loves dogs and our cats. My prayer is to live long to see our wonder grow up
to achieve her dreams. The pooch is Gracie, a rescue dog saved a few years ago to live the good life.
I’m not whining, my friends. It just hit me a few days ago, I lost so much all because I fell and fell so hard that I still get concussions and vertigo and trouble walking and, and, and. What I’m expressing is a lot of grief. Me, the happy actor, the writer, always smiling has grief. Yes, I had grief when my first love died and I began again to carve out a new life but nothing like this. No, nothing like this.
Yes, people have incredible problems. I’ve always been the one to help and now I can’t drive so I’m home alone a lot as I write stories not as fine as before; nothing as good as before. Yesterday I spoke to my dear second husband and poured out my feelings. he didn’t have a clue I felt this way when he raced out the door to shop without asking me to come with him; go to the library with him, go for a walk with him. And now he knows how I feel.
And now you all know how I feel. Tonight was a treat. Daughter and grandest stopped by to lift hands and help granny straighten up a beautiful new office daughter bought for me. All new, fresh, beautiful colors. Was I busy raising all those children ignoring the beauty of our nice home. Clean, Yes. Beautiful, No because I was too busy being a mom and wife doing all the things mom’s do. Of course I battled cancer; no biggie and other surgeries but what the heck. It’s life.
I had to share this with you as another part of my memoir. The grief of losing a large part of me due to a fall.
My best to you all written with love, Charmaine
Tomorrow I’ll give you a taste of another book, one sure to please you.