2/23/14 WEWRIWA

Thanks to everyone who commented with super constructive critique last week. I appreciate your time and good thoughts.

This week I continue with She Didn’t Say No. Taking place in 1960 where Grace Meredith, a studious nineteen year old is months away from graduating, youngest in her class. She meets Scott Dwyer, captain of the swim team, a big man on campus who takes an interest in her and when the library closes, they drive to a nearby beach in Nyack NY on a brisk early spring day.

excerpt in eight:


“There’s a small beach a little way up over some boulders and I warn you the Hudson River is darn cold right now but so beautiful.” He gave me another half grin, grabbed a blanket from the trunk and we climbed a short way.

Goose bumps rose on my arms from the breeze blowing across the water and without a jacket, I’m shaking thinking what an impression to make on this guy. And suddenly Scott wrapped his arms and the blanket around us and we were all alone with our body heat warming to overwhelm me with a yearning I’d never experienced before.

The kiss, tentative at first, made me tingle all over; I’d never had a boyfriend before and this feeling was new to me so here I am at nineteen not knowing what to do with a first kiss, for God sake.

“Well, uh hi Scott, you’re um, a good kisser.”

Laughing, he hugged me tight, said “Only good, huh well I can do better than that,” and this time the kiss curled my socks and knocked me for a loop.

Gasping for breath, I yelled, “Bingo,” and the wind carried my word across the river and boomeranged back for an echo that sounded like “Bingo, bing, bin.”

                                                                                                                                             Say No CVR ARe

for more snippets from talented writers:







Shout out news: Thrilled to announce a 5 star review for No Time for Green Bananas from the renowned LASR Reviews.

28 thoughts on “2/23/14 WEWRIWA

  1. lol! Really fun excerpt, Charmaine! Love that line about curling her socks.

    I think you switched tenses a couple times, from past to present. Both characters’ personalities come through clearly, and that’s not easy to do in such a short space 🙂

  2. So, is this where she doesn’t say no…let’s it go all the way…and ends up prego? Or does she say no this time…but regrets it, so later learns not to say no? Hmmm, got me wondering.

  3. I loved the last sentence, especially his reaction to her hesitation. This seems like an interesting read, and you’ve picked an intriguing time period for the setting. Good snippet!

  4. As always, your details paint a vivid scene. You utilize touch, sound,sight… And your stories have a way of taking the reader back to an innocent time. We were all there, once. 🙂 Good 8 🙂

  5. Brr, you can feel the cold–I’ve had outings like that, where suddenly your clothes are just not keeping you warm anymore…

    Love the “Bingo!” It made me smile. I hope he takes it as a compliment.

  6. I think it might be a bit late for the birds and the bees talk – her naivety is adorable but no doubt as to where this is heading. Good descriptions.

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